Rigid
Thank you for reading.
The checking of my feelings this week went well, except for the busy day I had at work on Friday where everyone showed up. It was crazy. I had roofers to fix the roof leaks, two different grounds crews: one to put in new irrigation clocks, the other to do grounds, district grounds people, pavement crew to replace the pavement where the main water line leaked, two a/c guys to fix a pump in the Chiller room, three people from a cleaning company to check on my equipment, and my boss. I dealt with all of them at some point during the day. As you can see I didn’t have a lot of time to reflect on myself on this day. The rest of the week at work and home I have reflected at least once a day. I did realize I have been feeling down. I think one reason is everything going on in the world, another is I want to accomplish so much in this next month. I didn’t feel I should be feeling down, especially when I try to stay positive about everything. When I do check in on my feelings, I have been working on feeling happier. Look at the positive of the day or where I’m at in my life. I have a job, a couple of hobbies, family, etc. Yes, I have some issues with OCD, for the most part, my OCD is doing good.
Something I did differently this week was cleaning the house when getting home from work. Trying to clean after getting off of work isn’t easy to do. I did push myself to do it anyway. This is harder than you think considering the way my schedule is set up during the week at least. I did think about doing my laundry differently, I just couldn’t jump into it. I have to do some thinking on rearranging stuff for my schedule this weekend was already set. Yes, it is a lousy excuse being it could be I don’t like change. This is me being rigid like Rachel told me I am. Doing stuff at the drop of a hat like going to a movie, changing what I eat, or going to Disneyland are easy for me to do. I would change laundry day to go to Disneyland, so why cannot I do it in the middle of a week. The only thing I can come up with is I like having a schedule and sticking to it. I know Rachel and I talked about this being OCD. We are going to have more discussion on how to help me with this issue. I will let you know how it goes. I will start thinking of next weekend now along with how I will change up my laundry night this next weekend.
When I say my OCD is doing good, then I write how I have these things like being rigid, God issues, being late, contamination, along with social issues you are most likely thinking how can he be doing good with all these issues. I think of it in a positive way. There are people doing better than me, also worse than me. I have a job I go to, a place to live and food. I can function without the help of someone or medications. These issues are things I will take care of before they get worse, however it doesn’t always happen over night.
Commitment is an act, not a word. - Jean-Paul Sartre
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
