Plumbing & Walking
Thank you for reading my blog.
This is Wednesday January 7, 2026. Trying to calm down after giving a key to the plumber, and it has been almost two hours. I told him I have Contamination OCD, and he told me he understood. I knew he didn’t, so I went to try to explain it to him, but I had to go deeper when he told me his wife likes things to be neat, so he understood. I went on to tell him that I almost quit my job in 2023, I didn’t touch door knobs, use money, and went on for a while. I was talking fast, I could feel myself start to shake, and was getting really worked up. I started to try to reel myself back in by slowing down, but I couldn’t do it for the reason of I gave him a key to get into the house when I’m not there. My OCD wants me at the house while anyone is there. I want to see everything they touch, so I can wipe it all off. If I’m not there then I will not know what is contaminated or not. What if they sit in my seat at the kitchen table? I’ve had an extremely hard time today thinking of giving the plumbers a key. I started ruminating, so I said the phrase Rachel and my therapist told me to say when I start to ruminate. None of your Fing business. I said it several times. I am still breathing hard and shaking while writing this and I took a shower before writing it. I texted Rachel telling her I gave the plumbers a key because we discussed it yesterday at my therapy session. She told me that I got this. I started to text her back just thanks, and started getting emotional. I had to stop for a couple of seconds to try to do it and I couldn’t. I saw there was a thanks I could just tap on it, so that is what I did as a tear went down my cheek.
At my therapy session yesterday. Rachel never yells at me in any way, but I felt like she scolded me pretty good because of the way I've been reacting with my OCD with all this stuff happening at the house. I needed it. She is a really nice person in every way. I've been bad. I've gone backwards. I've been trying to not go backwards, however this plumbing stuff flipped my switch quickly. I've been with Rachel, 3 years in March, and I know what to do to stop or help myself with my OCD. Even though I knew what to do, and how to help myself, I couldn’t do it. Sometimes it's really hard to help yourself when you feel like you're going through a crisis. That's why you always need somebody to help you through the crisis. To get you back on track, even though you know everything and what to do to help yourself. Sometimes you can't help yourself. My OCD is screaming, literally screaming, along with me ruminating. It has been really tough. I've been trying to reel it back in. It's been a very slow process. I'm glad I Rachel is with me. I thank God for her all the time.
Rachel asked me a question. She asked me if I was in a closet in your house and you didn't want me to see what you wouldn't want me to see you do at the house what would I see? I don't remember how I answered it, but I like this question. The thing is I tell Rachel everything in my life. I don’t hold anything back. I might forget to tell her something, but for the most part I let her have it all. Do you tell your therapist everything?
January 10, 2026 - I went to the Arizona OCD Foundation walk today. There were around a hundred people. I believe there would have been more if it didn’t get moved from October, but it got cancelled due to a bad storm. I volunteered to set up and take down. I enjoyed the entire event. This is the second time I’ve attended the event, and this is the 3rd time they have done it. I met some new people, and one asked me to join a writers group that I am going to join. I am a huge introvert, so I considered this a big win for me. I am trying to push myself to talk to more people and be more social this year. Not sit in the corner all by myself like I usually do.
Before I go, I want to tell you I haven’t slept well since all this plumbing stuff has been going on. I gave the plumber a key to the house on Wednesday, and last night, which was Friday night, was the first night I slept pretty well. I’m wondering if me giving the plumber a key was some kind of release for me. I’m still worried about what the plumbers are going to do and touch without me here, but I feel more at ease with it. What do you think?
I will keep you updated on how the plumbing is coming along. I’m going to a SCBWI Conference in New York on Wednesday. (Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators ) I’m really excited to go. I enjoy writing in my spare time.
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
https://ocdaz.org/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
