New York
Thank you for reading my blog,
January 14, 2026 - I’m flying to New York today. I've been ruminating for a couple days again because I really don't want to get sick and this morning I've been really worried about it. It just keeps coming back in my mind. I just have to stop. It's because I’ve heard all about the flu being so bad all over, including New York, which is one of the worst places. Now I'm thinking that I should wear a mask in New York all the time. I'm trying not to let OCD win, but it's been difficult when you don't want to get sick. What would Rachel say to me right now? I'm thinking about being sick and wearing a mask in New York. She would say this is your OCD. Tracy, you can do this, don't worry you got this. Does this move you to the place you want to be or OCD. I would say it moves me towards OCD. I would also say God is me.
I've also started thinking about the plumbing and everything else. If they're gonna finish or not. I wish they'd start early, so when I get home on Monday they would be almost done. I know that isn’t going to happen. The one company who's supposed to be talking to the insurance lady didn’t for I got a call the other day from the insurance lady. It's been two weeks, and she's left several messages. The company will not call her back. I called the plumbing company asking, what can I do? The lady from the plumbing company told me that she would call the company and would handle it. I have not been back in touch with them. I'd like to know what's going on. I'm a little stressed about that too because I don't even know if I'm gonna be able to take shower when I get home. I'm trying not to worry about that right now because that's five days from now. I'm hoping I can just enjoy my time in NY. I do think this is all my OCD talking to me, but I’ve been wrong before. I gotta just stop ruminating about it and just push it out of my head, so I can enjoy my trip.
I started thinking about the differences between this trip to NY and my last trip to NY in 2023. HUGE. I will talk about the difference between the trips another time.
The OCD walk only had about a hundred people show up probably because of changing it from October to January. I enjoyed volunteering. I met some nice people, along with finding a writer's group. The writers group is all people with OCD, so I'm glad for that too. It will be nice being with people who have the same thing as you that understand you. I’m thinking about going to the IOCDF conference in July. I think it will be a good learning experience.
January 16, 2026 - This is my third day in NY. I decided not to wear a mask at all. I have done a lot of walking around without a mask. Yes, at times I have worried about getting sick. I pushed through it, and went on with my day. I have done some compulsions, which I am not happy with. The first day when I got to the room I used the restroom, but instead of using the soap to wash my hands I accidentally used lotion. I either had to wipe off the sink knob or use a tissue or a wash cloth to turn it off. I choose to wipe it off. Another compulsion is I shook hands with a man I met this morning at the writer’s conference who you could tell had a cold or something. I choose to wash my hands. I also have not slept well for the reason the bed is hard as a rock along with the pillows are flatter than a paper. I haven’t eaten very well either, so I’m feeling blah. I usually eat at least two pieces of fruit a day, so I went to Whole Foods and bought some apples, yogurt, and my compulsion garlic. Why is garlic a compulsion for the reason it is a natural antibiotic. I might not take it given that it upsets my stomach. We will see. I did take a little nap this morning which did help me feel better. Those were the only three compulsions I did. I guess some people would say that is great. I will not say that. I want to beat OCD completely, so I’m a little disappointed in myself.
January 17, 2026 - I had a good day at the conference. I met and talked to a lot of people along with shaking some hands. I did no compulsions today. Ya me! I’ve had a hard time with ruminating today, even with listening to speakers. I’ve ruminated about getting sick, the plumbers, and what I will find when I get home. Will I have to stay at a hotel? I am a little worried, but I know for a fact it is my OCD. I will aim to not ruminate the rest of the trip. I have one more day of the conference before I fly home on Monday. No matter what, I am going to enjoy my last day in NY.
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
https://ocdaz.org/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
