Wishing Work or OCD To Slow down
Thank you for reading,
I wish either my work or my OCD would slow down a little. I don’t think either one has any intention of doing at this time. I have a better chance of slowing down my OCD, since I’m the one who is supposed to be controlling it.
I told you last week about me getting to places really early. Last night I went to a play across town. About eighteen miles away. I’ve tried going over early to eat, but being by myself I get done quickly to end up getting to the play two hours or more early. This time I decided to save money and eat at home. I would leave later. This is where my OCD comes in. The what if’s come into my head. What if there is an accident that happens a mile in front of you, so you are stuck in traffic for an hour then you would be late. What if something goes wrong with your vehicle, and you have to wait for someone to help you fix it. The what if’s never stop coming in my head. It really bothers me to be late. I even Google directions that told me it was going to take me forty-two minutes. I did leave later, but still got to the play one hour and forty minutes early, which is better than over two hours early. This is going to be harder for me to change than I realize, and not just with going to the play, but everywhere I go.
Another issue I’ve had for a long time is not being able to pick up stuff left outside at work/school like backpacks, water bottles, jackets without using gloves. I have worked in schools for a long time, I have seen a lot of stuff, so I’m cautious. This is my OCD talking to me. The what if’s are in my head again. What if the child is sick, as lice, a spider or scorpion is under them. The what if’s again go on and on in my head. I need to push myself to stop my compulsions with my OCD. The way I did over a year ago. I need to stop making excuses. I need to run my life, not OCD.
Another way OCD came to mind last night was that I am not sure I can date. I haven’t dated in over six years. The person next to me kept licking her finger to turn the page of the program. That drives me nuts. The germs that she is putting in her mouth along with germs from her mouth she is spreading everywhere when she touches everything, by not using sanitizer or washing after she licks her fingers. I know a lot of people do this, however this to me is gross. I know my OCD is the one pushing this. The thing that crossed my mind with date is if I cannot deal with this, then how many other things that people do that I’m not going to be able to handle. One off the top of my head is blowing their nose and not using hand sanitizer or washing after too. I’m going to be nitpicking the person apart on the first time I meet them even before I get to know them. That isn’t fair to them. I will end up just going out on one date after another without building any relationships. This is something I’m going to have to work on with Rachel. It is too much for me to manage alone.
To make a difference in someone's life you don't have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect. You just have to care. Mandy Hale
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
https://ocdaz.org/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
